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by the ocean

April 20, 2020

awoken again reaching out in darkness
heart racing from stress dreams: fleeing or falling or any of the frenetic scenes
that purge my mind of pandemic news only to be refilled again day after day after
quarantine day
fingers fumbling to find the hour
knowing it will be the still time when you can stretch your ears for miles
only to find more silence and the occasional whistle of wind

staring into the black i imagine unsuccessfully the sleepy things
of counting sheep or rhythmic breathing
until i think of you
standing by the ocean
buffeted by a stiff eastward salt scented breeze
kerchief sheltered from the crispness

“sometimes you have to just turn off the news” you say “and listen to nothing”
(the distinct voice of rippling waves whispering behind you)

i let loose of the swirling thoughts that race my heart and exhaust my mind
and imagine your voice and the crashing waves and stepping out under a new moon
onto sand slipping off my shoes and socks to feel my way across the beach
and let the darkness between the moonless sky and blue black water
wrap around me holding me tight and soaking up the still swirling thoughts
until sky sea and stillness take me away
the stress dreams silenced for one night
sleep taking hold and insomniac rustling subsiding
slipping back into darkness until its inevitable return

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